The Truth will Set you FreeThe Truth will Set you Free https://jasonlauritsen.com/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Jason Lauritsen https://jasonlauritsen.com/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg
I was in a meeting yesterday where a friend was describing a work problem she was having with a vendor who’s service wasn’t meeting her expectations. She described in detail what the problem is, what impact it is having and then she went on to explain why it was a challenging issue to tackle with the vendor.
I'm on the same wavelength as you on this. I make the same comment "suggested that perhaps she should call the vendor and describe the situation to him exactly the way she had just described it to the group including why it was difficult to call him" and receive the same blank look.
The next step is to recognize it's not the truth that folks are afraid as much as folks are afraid of their emotions. Some can't deliver a message without the anger, which they know will have bad ramifications. Some can't deliver the message without having a negative prediction that the person will be upset and subsequently their empathy will go to far. Hence, the messenger believes they are responsible for another person's emotional state.
I'm not suggesting we become Dr. Spocks. But, if you're going to tell the truth, you have to face the truth that sometimes people will be OK, some will be upset, some will quit, some will love you for it.
The bottom line is the only thing you can control is you, so do the right thing.
Just got to say amen to this message. I, too, see the avoidance of conflict as a preferred way of handling a breakdown in communication or partnership. We've become frightened to express our needs. More times than not having the supposed difficult conversation goes smoother than anticipated. And as you point out the time savings can be significant. And if the person blows a gasket then it is time to move on. At least then the problem solution is clear.