I’m Scared Too

I’m Scared Too 150 150 Jason Lauritsen

Last Monday morning, I sat across the breakfast table from a friend talking about how the media was creating panic over the coronavirus.

Early last week, I kept saying things like “I’m glad I don’t get a breaking news update every time someone dies of the flu or cancer like I do for this virus.”

That feels like a lifetime ago.

That same friend is now in self-quarantine due to possible exposure last week.

Looking back now, I’m embarrassed about how ill-informed and short-sighted I was. I was wrong. I should have been paying closer attention to what was happening in China and Italy. Hindsight….

As I tried to educate myself about what was happening and others smarter than I am helped to educate me early last week, the severity and dire nature of what was coming became clear. This is dangerous and it’s not like anything we’ve seen before.

We are still at the beginning. It’s going to get worse. Much worse.

And I’m willing to admit that I’m scared.

Over the past week, it’s been interesting and troubling to watch our behavior as this has unfolded. Most of us have never lived through anything like this, and no one seems to be prepared.

Like me, most people seem to start with some form of denial. “This isn’t that big of a deal.” We blame the media for creating panic. But they were doing their best with an unbelievable story. This isn’t their fault. And those early warning bells are likely to look pretty justified before this is all over.

While it seems that many people are starting to come around to the gravity of what’s happening, it scares me how many people still seem to be in denial, particularly some of our more irresponsible leaders. This is real, and it’s happening at breakneck speed.

If you are paying attention to the news as it unfolds, it’s hard not to feel some anxiety.

I’m worried about the threat this virus poses to our elderly and immune-compromised population. Selfishly, I’m worried about my parents and grandparents. I’m also worried about your parents and grandparents and anyone else at the highest risk.

I’m worried about how this is going to impact people who depend on the ability to go to work every day to early their hourly wage. When those businesses close or the schools close, and they have to stay home with kids, they can’t earn money to pay their bills.

I’m worried about the kids who don’t have a safe place to go during the day because schools are closed. And the kids who depend on the school to get at least two meals a day.

I’m worried about how this will impact my business and the businesses of so many others.

Yes, I’m scared. You might be too.  It’s okay to feel scared. And it’s important that we acknowledge and talk about it so it doesn’t consume us. By acknowledging our emotions, we can take positive steps to ensure that we are caring for ourselves and those around us appropriately.

Angie and I spent most of the weekend talking about what this means for us and for our community. We started putting a plan together for our family. We talked a lot about how we can help and lead in these crazy times.

Many of you are in positions of influence and leadership within your organization. Others are looking to you right now for leadership and guidance. They are uncertain and scared, and they don’t know what to do.

You’re probably facing some really challenging decisions in both your organization and your life. While I don’t have any special insights into how to navigate through a pandemic, there are a few things I’d like to offer up here that might be helpful as we work through these uncertain times. I am reminding myself of these same things right now.

  1. Focus on self-care. We can’t care for others if we aren’t taking care of ourselves. Get some sleep, get some exercise, pay attention to what you are eating and drinking, meditate if that’s your thing. To lead ourselves, our families, organizations, and communities through this uncertain time, we need to be strong. Healthy bodies are also more resilient bodies when it comes to illness.
  2. Educate yourself. Knowing more about this pandemic won’t likely make you feel better about what’s coming. But as long as you use sources like the CDC, Johns Hopkins, and reputable news outlets, you’ll at least have a foundation of information on which to make decisions.
  3. Up the communication, by A LOT. Over my entire career studying employee engagement, there is one common theme. We don’t communicate as often or as well as employees need. And this is during good times. In crisis and times of great uncertainty, your people need open communication with you more than ever. Unfortunately, our instinct during times like these is to slow down, create more formal communication, and make sure the message is “right” (whatever that means). Yes, it’s important you spend time thinking about what and how you communicate in times like this but also realize that minutes and hours matter. People don’t always need you to know the answer, but they want to know that you are thinking about them, you will keep them updated, and you are on top of what’s happening. Consider your own experience. Would you rather hear “We don’t know all the answers, but here’s what we do know” or silence? Silence in times of uncertainty fosters fear and further uncertainty. Just remember that when we know what’s going on, we tend to assume the worst. Yhe moral of the story is this: Whatever amount of communication you are doing with your team right now, multiply it by four or more. No one is going to get angry with you for over-communicating.
  4. Maintain connection.  Social distancing and isolation are going to be the new norm for a while. We need to remember that we all have a fundamental need for human connection, so as we are removed from the places where this happens naturally like the workplace, we need to replace it somehow. Google Hangouts and Skype provide video resources for free so long as you have an internet connection. Set aside time each day for calls, texts, video chats, or however you prefer to communicate. You also need to consider this for every member of your team or employee. How are you going to keep your people connected if you send them home or have to shut down?
  5. Just take the next step. There is no playbook or best practice for what’s happening right now. That can lead to paralysis of what to do for your organization or family. The thing is, you don’t need to have the whole plan worked out to do the next right thing. Do you send people home to work or not? Do you close your business or not? Do you keep your kids home from school if they haven’t closed? Make the best decision for today or this week based on what you know right now. But also realize that things are changing fast and as you get more info, a different decision might be warranted.
  6. Think about community. Much of the anxiety I’ve felt over the past few days has as much to do with my concern about the broader impact of this pandemic on our community as it does on our family. If we are to minimize the damage of this unfolding crisis, it requires that we all think beyond ourselves. The choices we make today will have important ripple effects on how life looks for us all over the next few months. As you contemplate what you do individually or with your team, try to consider all of those who might be impacted.

It’s important that we lean on and support one another as we navigate these uncertain times. Talking things through is important and helpful. If you want to talk or would like help thinking through some decisions you need to make, reach out and I’ll make time for you.

We are in this together. And we’ll get through it together.

 

Here are some resources that I’ve found helpful over the past few days:

 

7 comments
  • Marla Beal

    Thank you, Jason, for this thoughtful post. One area of concern that you didn’t address is the potential impact upon our medical community. We know from what’s happening in China and Italy that our hospitals and clinics can easily become overwhelmed with patients who need critical care. There are also reports of medical personnel being placed in the terrible position of having to decide who receives treatment and who doesn’t, as they are full to the brim. This is why social isolation is SO very important right now. Thank you for talking about this!

    • Jason

      Yes, that is a huge concern that I share with you. I’m so grateful for the amazing dedication and commitment of our medical community. I hope that the actions we are taking now will be enough.

  • Laura Roccaforte

    Thank you for this post, Jason – so well written and thoughtful. I found myself taking this far more seriously than others in the beginning, and felt a bit hysterical to myself! My sister-in-law is a retired infectious disease doctor and we had coffee on March 8th and talked about the essentials of hand-washing, coughing into our elbows and not touching our face. She had felt for a couple of weeks that we should shut down airlines across the world – most infectious disease doctors were calling for that action earlier. I remember thinking that I was in a minority about my fears, and perhaps I was over-inflating the worry. I think those extremes in how differently we perceive situations is normal, and I’m very aware of who’s voice we privilege and how much we look to others to lead us through with clarity, discernment and honesty. We are building collective wisdom that I believe will serve us for years to come, and there will be many great translators of this experience. My hope is that I continue to build resilience and a tolerance for ambiguity while remaining optimistic for our future. May you and your family be well! Laura

    • Jason

      Thank you for this Laura. It has been interesting to observe the widely varying reactions to this unfolding crisis. I’ve been working really hard to suspend my judgment when others don’t react as I think they should. Most people are trying to do their best in a very uncertain time. I’m with you in the hope that this time in our history informs us and makes us more resilient in the future.

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