“The obstacle is the way.”
This quote, often attributed to the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, is a core tenet of stoicism.
It points to an annoying and inevitable truth.
What we want most is usually found on the other side of something we would rather avoid.
It is one of those lessons I seem to need to relearn again and again.
In my marriage, it has been the hard conversations we had to have when we felt disconnected.
With my health, it was confronting my severe burnout and realizing that my choices had played the leading role in causing it.
And this week, it happened again.
I have been on a solo retreat, something I began doing as I recovered from burnout. The retreat is designed to help me:
✓ Recharge my energy
✓ Reflect on my well-being and my business
✓Check in with my goals, values, and intentions
✓ Identify what is working and what is not
✓ Plan for the next 6 to 12 months
Heading into this retreat, I was feeling stuck.
This year, I have received powerful feedback about the impact my training and tools have had on leaders and organizations. The work is making a difference. We have proof.
But I continue to struggle with how to scale my business and expand my impact. It is not a lack of effort. It is a lack of effectiveness.
The work I did this week helped me see the obstacle that has been in front of me for years. I have known it was there, but I kept avoiding it. I pretended it did not exist, hoping I could find a way around it.
This week, I could not avoid it any longer.
If I want to achieve my goals, I must face it directly. No more hiding.
The obstacle is the way.
It is an inconvenient truth that I now have to embrace. I wish I had not waited this long, but today is as good a day to start as any. Now the real work begins.
So let me ask you this:
What obstacles are you avoiding right now?
- A difficult conversation with a partner, parent, boss, or employee
- A toxic high performer who is damaging your team
- An abusive relationship, job, or friendship
- Stories you tell yourself about who you are or what you are capable of
On the other side of these obstacles could be freedom, joy, relief, connection, or success.
So why do we stay stuck?
It feels safe. It seems easier. But deep down, we know that’s not true. We are suffering because we won’t do what must be done.
Confronting my obstacle means doing more of the things I do not enjoy and a bit less of what I love. What shifted for me this week was realizing that what I want most requires that tradeoff. It will be hard, and it will be worth it.
Obstacles are invitations to grow and to confront the things that hold us back from what we want most.
What obstacles are you avoiding? At what cost?
Consider this an invitation to face them with me.
The obstacle is the way.
We can do this.
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